...snow, marriage, babies and being old...

Tonight it snowed. I almost didn't believe it at first, but sure enough when I left the church this evening there were a few white flakes falling (and no they weren't dandruff). I think it's finally turned cold here - apparently right now it's minus 1, I suppose that's good snowing weather.

I've been trying to think of something interesting and amusing to write for you all to read, but sadly it seems like my life is just completely uneventful. In fact, my days are monotonously the same...I wake up, make some tea (or coffee...I know, only since grad school!) and then work on some sort of a paper...writing a paper, marking a paper, reading some well-known (except to me) academic's paper. What a waste of trees.

So I was talking to my friend who lives in England the other day (I'll keep all of you guessing who it was!...very few of you will actually know him) and he told me about some "trouble" that he was having with a woman he'd been working with. Apparently she's "really into marriage and having lots of sex and babies, and thinks that 27 is old." Of course he asked me if I thought 27 was old (yes, positively ancient) and if all women were crazy about marriage and babies (it's possible, but I think I may have missed out on that gene). He then told me I was a "bairn"...silly wanna-be Brit. (ok...maybe he's like half British...but it's like saying I'm Australian...and by that logic I'd be more Aussie than he is Brit since him Mum's Canadian)

Anyway, we then had a conversation about men, women and the problems between them (yes, it was a long talk). I tried to convince him that not all women want to get married and have babies by 27...I'm not sure that he was swayed. He also asked me if I felt more pressure to get married from the Church and my Christian friends and such. (do you feel more pressure??) An interesting question. I told him that I'd never been very good at following the 'dating trends' of the Church and that I never hopped on that whole "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" wagon. It may have worked for some, but I don't think it fit with my personality; it wasn't who I was and who I am. I'm more the "I Gave Dating A Chance" kind of girl. A lot of the time I think that conservative members of the Church look down on that ideology and it's that view that spawns what I think is the perceived pressure from Church-folks to get hitched and in a hurry. What's the rush? Now, I'm not saying that if you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with already and you happen to be 27 or younger, there's anything wrong with that. On the contrary, that's fantastic and maybe I'm a little bit jealous.

But what I think is wrong is the feeling of wanting or needing to get married in order to avoid dating...which can lead to individuals marrying the wrong person or rushing into marriage. I think it's possible that people buy into that idea and end up in marriages that aren't necessarily what they should be. Is it really better to be married than to be single and to have a boyfriend/girlfriend or to be dating in general? I'm not necessarily convinced that it is...I guess it has a lot to do with the kind of dating/marriage relationship. At any rate, I don't think that 27 is old, and it's hard to think of myself being married in 2.5 years and being old by that time to boot! (although I do realise that my brain cells will stop regenerating when I hit 25...I have 5 more good months!) There is also the worry of desperation - the idea that if you're not married by 27 you're drying up and had better catch the next car to speed on down the highway. The fact is, the highway's still going to be up and running in the many years to come and it's not like they've stopped making cars. There will still be lots of quality manufactured cars...er, men...at 30...or 35...40. Won't there? Won't there??

I think my friend is being pursued by the marriage-crazed woman he worked with and he's not sure that marriage is really in the cards for him as of yet (I think he just turned 26, in case you were wondering and I'm pretty sure he's an eligible bachelor if you're interested - except don't ask him about marriage, I think it's a sensitive subject). He's worried that she's placing all of her ideals on him and that she might be making him into something that he's not...and I think that's a problem. I also think the fact that she's pursuing him is a problem...but that's a whole other blog...Lucky for me, I don't have to worry about any marriage-crazed men madly pursuing me.

*phew*

For a moment there I was worried...